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EtherealMartyr

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We have a location picked out.  My grandpa booked a local FOP lodge for us (he gets it for free since he's a police officer) and he is paying for our bartender (a $200 cost I no longer have to fret over).  My mom found someone to make our wedding cake and it paying for it as her wedding gift to us.  The girl that's making it agreed to do butterflies and turtles on the cake (I love butterflies and my fiance loves turtles).  A friend of my mom's is going to help with making the food.  The pieces are coming together.

I highlighted my hair this evening.  I need motivation to start working out and getting myself back down to the weight on my driver's license (it's not my doctor's view of an ideal weight, but I look lighter than I actually am and I think I looked pretty damn good at that weight a few years ago).  I decided a bit of a make over would motivate me.  My gym bag is packed and ready for the morning.  I bought a new book to read on my nook while I'm running also.  Time passes faster when I'm reading.


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My fiance's father has been fighting cancer for about a year now.  After multiple surgeries, chemo and radiation, it appears as though it is spreading again.  He's decided that he doesn't want anymore treatment and doctor's are giving him 6-12 months.  There's a good chance that my future father-in-law won't be at the wedding.

I love my job and I am currently still fighting to be officially full-time.  I'm working full-time hours, but not getting the benefits.  It sucks.

I haven't felt much creativity lately.  Too much is going on.  But, this week is finals and then I will have the summer to relax before (finally) starting my last year of school.

As of yesterday, I have successfully created the following handmade items for the wedding: our guestbook, a white rose headband for myself, black rose headbands for my bridesmaids, and the wedding invitations (minus the portion with the info since nothing is finalized yet and won't be until the first of the year).  My next task is making an embroidered a satin tablecloth for the gift table.


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I have a paper to write this weekend (for which I still don't have enough surveys filled out so I'll be bullshitting quite a bit).  I have all of these ideas running through my head.  I keep thinking of new things for the wedding that I hadn't considered wanting.  I spent so long accepting that he wasn't going to propose and focusing on not getting attached to wedding ideas, that my desires have been very simplistic.  Then my cousin started listing off decoration ideas and brainstorming ideas of having whatever I want, and it kind of makes me want more.

Apparently one of my cousins decided that my engagement needs to be all about how she should be getting married first and every one in my family who is unmarried and older than me should be pissed.  Luckily, she's not a cousin I ever considered close (she's a bitchy second-cousin who I generally try to avoid).  Unluckily, she'll probably be at the wedding since she's also dating (and living with) my first cousin who I do like (they are also second cousins and I find the whole thing a little weird to begin with).  It's not an easy relationship to explain to people who aren't family and already aware of it.

A cousin I do like (the sister of my first cousin dating our second cousin) will be one of my bridesmaids.  She has decided that I get to have a real bachelorette party (I was happy with an hour long full body massage, because I know that I am going to need it).  My sister is the maid of honor.  Originally it was just my sister, but my fiance's dad wants to stand up in the wedding, so I needed a second person to match.

I am trying to get my stress under control, but the next years is going to be havoc.  I currently make $700 every paycheck and get to keep $400 after the garnishment is done ripping it to shreds.  I meet with my lawyer on Monday and hopefully the garnishment will be gone by my next paycheck.  I'm really hoping.

I think I may need to go back to the doctor to get something to survive the next year.  I'm trying to not take meds, I'm trying to do this on my own... but the stress is exhausting me.  I haven't made it to the gym in the last week because I've been too tired to drag myself out of bed early enough.  I am completely fried.

Mostly, this is me venting because I don't really have another outlet.  I don't have much time to sit down and right.  Every once in a while a couple words will come to me that sound good together and result in my most recent pieces... but those aren't coming very often.  I need and outlet and homework just isn't cutting it.  I want to work on my wedding things (all of my handmade pieces of genius) but I just don't have the time and energy with the semester quickly coming to the end.

Tonight, I just want him to hold me.  But I will be asleep by the time he comes home from work. And when he comes to bed, he'll fall asleep watching youtube on his phone with his back facing me.


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So, the full time position that I was promised apparently no longer exists.  Our "wonderful" store manager has decided that instead of 5 full time and 1 part time positions, there is now 4 full time and 4 part time.  So all of my benefits and such are non-existent.  I'm not happy.  I stopped looking for another job because of the promise of full time hours and benefits.  Once the semester is over in a few weeks, I am going to start looking for another job.  One that will actually provide the things that I need for living.  The worst part is that I actually really like my job and I really don't want to have to leave it.  But, that's the wonderful world of rich companies.  And they wonder why they can't keep employees when they don't pay enough or offer necessary benefits.

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So, I have to start writing a paper for my business communications class.  However, most of my data has to come from responses to a survey I had to make...  If any of you could please help me out by answering the questions, it would be appreciated.  I'm writing the paper on the fairness of satisfactory academic progress requirements to returning students and students who have struggled in the past.

www.proprofs.com/survey/t/?tit…

^--- that's the link to it.  Thank you in advance if you're kind enough to help me out.

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